Dear Americans: let’s talk about voting and democracy sausages.
Firstly, for those who don’t know, voting is completely screwed in America. It’s a state by state system so a different system everywhere you go. You need to register to vote before you can vote (what!?), you need different ID to vote depending on which state you’re in, mail in voting (which despite what Cheeto Mussolini says is actually really good and safe) is being hampered by a postal service that’s had a trump appointee put in charge specifically to slow things down. Yes, all other countries, it’s a shitshow and I know you’re laughing right now and I’ve not even started on gerrymandering, closing polling stations, and voter deregistration. And yeah, the deeply racist electoral college. It’s hilarious… in a deeply depressing way.
So let’s tell a story. When I was born in Australia, where the voting age was 18 (there’s a bill to reduce it to 16 which is awesome but a side issue). When I turned 18 in the before time I was automatically registered to vote and it was a crime for me not to vote. A minor crime which was a small fine, but enough that pretty much every Australian voted. Because voting was mandatory it happened on weekends and there were polling stations everywhere, and it became an event, people would come out in droves, it was a great time to catch up with people, and the democracy sausages were born.
So because pretty much everyone in every community came out to vote, it was an awesome chance for fundraisers, but they didn’t just ask for money, they did transactional fundraising *dun dun dah*. Basically, at pretty much every polling station when I was younger (and likely now) there was one or more charities selling “sausage sandwiches”. Now any American is now thinking “you mean hot dogs”, no no no! None of your pigs anus weird things on a bun here! We had respectable sausage sandwiches which were mostly cow and sheep and only a small amount of sawdust, served on respectable buttered single slice of bread as god intended (diagonally so it covered the long sausage bit) and charging a dollar a sandwich with onion as the only option (sauce (ketchup for you weirdos) was available on a table nearby). The prices raised slightly for “fancy” sausages but mostly that was it. The price has gone up since but that was my democracy sausages experience. Democracy sausages became a treat for voting… they became one of the reasons to vote.
Now I’m in America where voting is a right and people rant about it, sing songs and make musicals about it, and weird presidents try to stop it, but you have to a) register to vote, b) check your registration isn’t removed, sometimes frequently, c) vote in limited locations in many cases, and d) check you have a polling station within a few hundred miles ( which is not always the case). Lastly, it’s a chore. A horrible wait and in this time of covid, a potential death sentence. As I said, a shitshow.
Seriously, you all need a holiday or at least a weekend for voting, automatic registration, and definitely you need democracy sausages. Honestly, democracy sausages made my voting experience awesome. We need them in the USA. Let’s make democracy sausages happen in the USA. Even if they’re weird pigs anus hot dogs with 60 condiments like you weirdos do, something to make voting an experience not a chore.
DEMOCRACY SAUSAGES!
Edit: I’m making an edit that it’s entirely possible I was registered by someone to vote but I don’t believe that is the case. WE NEED DEMOCRACY SAUSAGES!