So following up from a throwaway comment on my discussion about Sally Ride and the first Tampons in space, let’s have a chat about NASA’s “urine collection assembly” and penis size.
So astronauts often can’t remove their space suits and almost no space vehicles are equipped with bathrooms. In fact for the first US man in space, Alan Shepherd, no plans we’re made for peeing as it was to be a 15 minute flight. Unfortunately there were launch delays and eventually mission control gave him permission to relieve himself in his suit. Yes, the first American in space wet himself and went to space drenched in pee. It’s all on public record.
So they figured out something was needed, and thus the “urine collection assembly” was designed. This was a system developed by engineer Donald Rethke (who earned the nickname “Dr Flush” for his work on zero gravity waste management. No I’m not making this up) which consisted of a 1 liter bag to hold the urine, an attachment to secure it to the body, and a condom like sheath with a tube at the end to transport the urine to the bag. The sheath was initially made in 3 sizes of small medium or large.
Of course they were all men and NO ONE wanted to take anything other than a large despite the fact that all the flight doctors were well aware of their measurements and no. Consequently the first tests of the system involved much leakage because men have fragile egos.
Now here’s where the stories become a little fuzzy because everyone acknowledged that the sizes changed names unofficially to make the poor astronauts feel better about their fragile masculinity but there are multiple accounts of what it changed to. Some say “large, extra large, and humongous” and others “extra large, immense, and unbelievable” and there’s other accounts as well. Suffice to say most astronauts ended up with “small” for the much tighter fit *ahem*.
I’m going to note here for no reason that Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon but notably and according to mission logs (no pun intended) Buzz Aldrin was the first to pee there.
I’m not going to go too deep into it today but when Sally Ride flew they had to develop the “Maximum Absorbency Garment”… which yes, was a diaper because women often lack a penis (or a fragile male ego). I’m also not going to discuss the bags taped to the ass for “solid waste removal” and I’ll instead leave it to the imagination.
That’s enough pee for one day. I want to thank the amazing author Mary Robinette Kowal for some of this info as she’s done way more research into waste in space than anyone reasonably should, and also helped me to develop a practical method for a working kitty litter in zero G for a story I’m writing. Go read her books, especially the lady astronaut series.